The much anticipated second coming of the Son of God finally came to pass yesterday disrupting the traditional April Thames Boat Race of Oxford versus Cambridge. Jesus was spotted walking on the water towards the oncoming boats and their following flotilla. Many jeers and shouts seemed to confuse Our Saviour as he walked towards the now stopped boats to greet the stunned rowers.
"Fuck right off actually", said Toby Huntingdon de Canard as the Lord's only son extended a hand of peace and benevolence, later Jesus pointed out that it was meant to be the Iconic image of the beginning his return and the commencement of a World Tour.
He told the ammased press, "OK, may it wasn't the best of times to appear but come on guys, Son of God here! I'm back, I'm going to solve world hunger, bring peace to the Middle East etc. Surely you can forego a boat race for a year?" Some old Oxford and Cambridge veterans were so angry they began to rip off their crosses and religious symbols and threw them in the Thames in protest. There are also rumours that Christ Church College in Oxford will now sell it's naming rights to the highest bidder with Halliburton very interested.
Jesus was tonight with his PR team attempting to spin this disaster in a positive before his next stops at the All-Ireland Hurling Final at Croke Park, El Classico in Madrid and the Superbowl in the US.