After the Pope's traditional Easter message today reaction was flooding in at his outrageous statement that he no longer knows the difference between good and evil.
Whilst smoking a filterless Gitane and swirling a very large measure of absinthe around his jewel encrusted goblet, he said "I've read all good books and all the bad and I can honestly say that there's not much difference. So what's the point in preaching to people. Let's all just get on it with it any way we can. Starting with this, my Easter message." At this point the Pope took a large swig from his glass, put his feet up on a hairless, naked Philippino boy acting as a foot table and broke wind loudly.
Suddenly he began the second part of his message with the words, "I'll tell you what, that Hitler had a few good ideas..." before aides ushered Journalists hurriedly from the room citing Easter as a traditionally emotional and tiring time for the Pontiff.