Red-faced London 2012 officials have withdrawn James Bond from an Olympic promo at Buckingham Palace after revelations that his “license to kill” expired in 1995, meaning he has technically committed 384 murders in the intervening period.
It seems that the mistake occurred when the new “M” took over and Bond tore up his license after the “sexist, misogynist dinosaur” jibe. While things were soon patched up, the new unsigned license became mixed up in Bond’s 183 page expense claim.
London 2012 officials clarified that there is no “blanket ban” on mass-murderers visiting the Olympics, and genocidal heads of state from oil-rich countries will still be welcome.
The replacement in the Buckingham Palace promo has been announced as Tom Barnaby, of “Midsomer Murders” fame. “In the unlikely event of a problem surfacing in Tom’s past, we can quickly switch to Jim Bergerac” said the official.