In a shock move Roman Abramovich, Chelsea’s billionaire owner, has appointed himself manager. He said: “I know what I am looking for in a manager: a proven winner, an astute tactician, and above all a man who will pick the players I buy. When I thought about it, it was a no-brainer.”
Abramovich will take charge of the team with immediate effect, and at Chelsea’s next match will be under the owner’s watchful gaze. When asked how he can be sure that he will last in his new job, he replied “Roman and I see eye to eye on everything. I know I can trust him - after all, I’ve known him all my life”.
In a further shock move, Roman Abramovich has been sensationally sacked as Chelsea manager. At a hastily-arranged press conference, owner Roman Abramovich cited the recently appointed manager’s lack of success as a key factor in his dissatisfaction. Meanwhile on Twitter, Abramovich has complained about the owner’s “constant interference” as a major source of friction between them.