A rumour that workers in toilet roll factories are threatening strike action, has caused a wide spread case of panic buying of the soft soft soft toilet paper. One super market has confirmed that there is now a major shortage. Environmental groups are up in arms by the panic buying and think this is an ideal time for people to think about 'environmentaly friendly alternatives', and have been seen campaigning outside shops, waving placards as people walk by with their trolleys overflowing with loo roll, some stacked over a meter high.
One environmentalist, named Unicorn, had a placard with the words, "what's wrong with dock leaves?". And stated that many people do not know how many trees it takes to make one roll of bog paper. Unicorn could not actually say how many trees it takes.
A group of the environmentalists stated that there is nothing wrong with using dock leaves; but they wanted to remind people to be aware of any rough areas and any insects that may be living on the leaves.
The toilet roll company refused to comment on the rumour of strike action, but one member of staff was seen in the factory car park looking amoungst the hedge rows.