Freelance writer, Keith Pardue, of Yeovil, yesterday confessed to a monumental balls-up after mixing up facts regarding the dead former Beatle with those relating to dog-loving Blue Peter presenter Noakes in his recently-published biographies of the two stars.
Friends say Noakes,76, was never consulted by the author of ‘Just Say Noakes’ and was shocked to learn that he had experimented heavily with LSD and hashish whilst touring India in the sixties in a bid for spiritual enlightenment. He also angrily refuted Pardue’s assertion that he was hospitalised later that decade after overdosing on Valerie Singleton, an addiction from which he never recovered.
Noakes, who wants it making clear he has never visited Hamburg, also revealed he had been contacted by concerned friends after they read he had been assassinated at the age of 40 in New York by lone gunman Mark Chapman after Chapman had been refused a Blue Peter badge.
Meanwhile, Beatles fans who bought a copy of Pardue’s ‘Beatle About The Bush’ – an in-depth chronicle of Lennon’s sexual encounters, ranging from an early ‘misunderstanding’ at a Liverpool kindergarten to the point where he lost interest in Yoko Ono, were surprised to discover the singer had done a stint as a children’s TV presenter and once spent an entire afternoon clearing elephant shit off the floor of the Blue Peter studios. The overweight beast left the calling card out of spite after coming second in a knob-comparison contest to Peter Purves.
And music lovers found themselves doubting their own memories after reading the chapter entitled ‘Dogs Against Napalm’, Pardue’s account of the futile Bed-in protest at the Vietnam War, in which he recalls how the couple were joined on the bed by Noakes’ dog ‘Shep’, who made a half-hearted attempt to copulate with Lennon’s outstretched leg in a bid to bring about world peace.
Ono last night reacted furiously to the insinuation that she or Lennon had willingly entered into sexual relations with a mature border collie, insisting that, when all is said and done, free love had its limits.
‘In Japanese culture dog is filthy animal. Mr Pardue’s suggestion that John or I would allow one into our bed is outrageous ‘, she said.
‘Mind you.... have you spoken to Paul McCartney recently? ‘