Tanker drivers have called off their proposed strike amid fears that any disruption they could cause would pale into insignificance alongside the chaos that cabinet ministers have created with a few poorly chosen words.
‘We were all set to strike over pay, no, hold on, safety concerns wasn’t it? Yeah, safety concerns.’ said one tanker driver, ‘Anyway, then the PM advises people to go out and buy petrol they don’t need, Francis Maude recommends turning your garage into a massive fire risk, and suddenly the country grinds to a halt and everybody has forgotten about us. So we might as well not bother now.’
Ed Miliband was not willing to comment on the cancellation of the strike while he was queuing to fill up his scooter, but did complain about the 20% price increase on his lukewarm ESSO sausage roll.
a VCG, Bonjo & Zadok co-production, 2012. All rights reversed.