As widely expected, Stuart Lancaster has today been announced today as the new coach of the England Rugby Union team. However in a surprise move, it has also been announced that he will take over the management of the English football team (soccer to our American readers).
The RFU and the FA announced that it was a cost saving measure in today's austerity Britain and the joint salary would therefore only be £6,000,000 per annum.
Ivor Pigalott, head of the professional sporswriters union said "we are amazed, we never had an inkling of this story, you just couldn't make it up"
When Lancaster was asked why he took on the two roles he had this to say. "Recent events have shown that there is a great synergy between the two games and there are a number of players who could easily use their skills in either game"
When asked if he had any players in particular in mind he replied "Danny Care immediately springs to mind, what with his recent drink driving and urinating in public, it brings those qualities already well known and admired to the football setup. Also thinking ahead to the 2015 Rugby world cup, I like Wayne Rooney's natural aggression. He would be a natural in the scrum, he knows the qualities that are needed in a good hooker".
Lancaster was asked when he had made up his mind to take on the two roles. "I saw the Bradford versus Crawley game, what athletes, those Guys can really mix it in Rugby, Football or wrestling. They would be particulary good at five a side, having started a game with a full 15 players each. I was impressed, I have every confidence going forward that we can beat anyone"
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Stuart Lancaster to coach England Rugby AND Football teams
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FarmerGiles
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago #
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