The glazing industry was buzzing yesterday with the news that a salesman had successfully sold a fresh set of replacement double glazed windows to the International Space Station. Last night an ‘over the moon’ Shane Watson, 32, told the press how he had sealed the deal.
"I managed to blag a lift on the shuttle, which was a lot easier than had I expected." he said, "I must admit I was rather nervous, but once Sergey opened the door I just settled into my usual patter – "We just happen to be in your area and wondered if you’d be interested in ….’ and quickly closed the deal."
Speaking through an interpreter, Cosmonaut Sergey Denisov admitted that he and his colleagues were rather surprised by Mr. Watson’s knock on the outer wall airlock.
"We don’t get many callers but I knew that we were dealing with a double glazing salesman the moment I glimpsed his distinctive gelled hair and the top of his Burton’s polyester tie through the visor of his space helmet."
"We’re very proud of Shane." said Keith Harmer, Managing Director of EverSeal Windows. "When the lads first join our sales team, I always tell them that the ‘sky is the limit’. Thanks to Shane, I’m going to have to change my team talk." He joked.
Meanwhile Cosmonaut Denisov confessed that he was a satisfied customer. "It was a really good deal" he said "as well as the windows; he offered to replace our soffits and cladding for half price. That is, of course, if we ever have any to replace."
In confirming that the International Space Station had ordered double glazing from EverSeal, a spokesman emphasised that further close encounters with cold callers would be discouraged by a sign which has been installed at the outer wall airlock reading:
“No hawkers, salesmen, junk mail or pervaders of religious knowledge. We have already purchased double glazing and have no immediate plans to install a fitted kitchen or loft conversion.”