A two year study into office worker habits has led to the conclusion that humans are ingrained with 'the need to staple stuff'. The blind study, so described due to the number of staple related eye injuries that transpired during the experiment, revealed that 9/10 HR workers have an obsessive compulsive desire to staple together related paperwork that would otherwise become separated, or that persistently refuses to remain exactly lined up.
What might at first appear to be sensible behaviour, particularly in offices housing merciless predatory rotating fans, the desire to staple may have 'a deeper origin', say the authors of the new study, and may be 'encoded within our DNA'. Although unclear how this behaviour might have been useful in times gone by, stumped scientists eventually proposed stone-age Jenga death matches as a plausible scenario in which lining things up precisely might have improved survival prospects.
Most importantly, the study noted that the average time taken to remove staples so the documents could be scanned, shredded or filed was far less than the average time that was lost to constantly rearranging unstapled piles of paper that persistently refused to remain exactly lined up, or reordering papers after encounters with the aforementioned merciless predatory rotating fans. The authors were left blushing, however, as the research paper in question was published missing a page and with several ordering inconsistencies following poor stapling protocol in the draft stages.