"Stroke it, now fumble it, now shy away, now press it with an unexpected part of your anatomy." It sounded simple, but to some of the judges on the latest BBC talent show it was asking too much of their acting abilities. "I see a big red button like that, I just want to jab it," explains Tom Jones. "Jab jab jab. My oh my, Delilah, I can't tinker around, stroking and toying, it's just not me. Whoooah! I've hit it."
As for Jessie J, pressing the rounded red dome wasn't difficult for her - it was combining the action with convincing facial expressions, to convey the notion that there existed an element of doubt, some uncertainty that was really there all of the time - would she, wouldn't she? What had the producer said, dammit?
Will.i.am (so close to having an email address for a name) fared no better, sniggering into his lapel microphone like a mischievous schoolboy, toying unconvincingly with the button, half expecting to hear a bullshit alert if he pressed it. And probably wishing it had.
The fourth judge was probably having trouble as well if we could just remember who he was, and anything abut him.
So next weekend - see if the button teasing lessons have paid off! I'll certainly be pressing mine.