(just an excuse to work in the BOGOF line)
Harrods, the exclusive London supermarket, are to add a range of dining-in options to the current familiar fine dining offerings . For some time now Harrods have been under pressure from Marks and Spencer who have been constantly upgrading their “Dinner for Two” take home meal by including champagne and other posh items.
The new range from Harrods comes in the form of a gift card that can be purchased online, in person in-store or from any major branch of the Conservative and Unionist party.
How can I buy one?
Only large corporations need apply. Proof of your board members' attendance at an approved public school and a select traditional university is required. Cash only unless a suitable off-shore bank account is used. Price on application.
How does it work?
Once authorised you can go online and book your dinner with the cabinet minister that best meets your business needs at a suitable time.
When the great day arrives you merely have to swipe your gift card it at the gates to Downing Street you will be shown by a friendly security guard to your dining room. This is guaranteed to be the private dining room of a senior government figure. There you will note that the dining tables are a litttle bit higher than normal. This has been found necessary for some of the larger under the table transactions that take place on these occasions. The rest is up to you.
Harrods takes no responsibility if your business needs are not met following you dining experience. Customers are expected to have had sufficient experience in this aspect of running a large corporation.
As a special introductory offer Harrods are operating a two for the price of one offer where you get to meet two senior government figures rather than the standard one.
Former Harrods owner, Mohamed al Fayed, said “It's sad that Harrods has to behave like a supermarket these days but at least Harrods has brought a whole new meaning to BOGOF – Bribe one, Graft one free.”