“Reality is broken,” was the verdict of Professor Ian Seaborn. Last Saturday as millions sat down to watch Britain’s Got Talent they had no idea at the horrors they would face.
In started innocently enough, very attractive people were praised; we experienced orgasmic joy in watching the souls of the ugly get crushed before our eyes. Then Jonathan Antonie walked in the room.
Looking like a cross between Mr Blobby and Alan Davies, Simon Crowell sighed, “Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse,” because he was ugliest contestant and, therefore should be the worse. Not long after he began to sing Crowell, the other judges and the audience came to the startling reaction; he was good.
“I can’t believe the building didn’t blow up right then and there,” continued Seaborn. “I asked every woman I could find if they thought he was a good singer, they all send yes. I then asked if they would shag him. The thought of rolling atop his marshmellowing frame caused their faces to distort into sheer horror. But once they finished puking they reiterated their belief he could sing. The end is night.”
Lucy, who works in the hairdressers, concurred, “The correlation between talent and attractiveness is there for all to see. Every man wanted to have sex with Britney Spears 10 years ago and her music was great. Now she’s a mess so her music sucks. It has to mean the end of the world. The only other option is that the most successful singers are only popular because of marketing, and not talent. How shallow would that make us?”
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Fat Person Showing Talent Proof of 2012 Apocalypse
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Hooch
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago #
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