The Welsh Assembly today reacted angrily to criticisms that 'simply nothing worth reporting' goes on in Wales.
A report by CeeBeebies says that, compared to Scotland, Wales looks like it's been in a cultural coma for years.
CeeBeebies' spokespersonnage Dick Stickon tells us, "You only have to look at the respective news headlines. For example, here are some recent Scottish headlines: 'Man to be tried for chef murder; Murder probe as assault man dies; Man arrested over stabbing death; Woman hurt in Tesco car explosion; Murder accused 'cleaned knives'; Force 'dismantles' 20 crime gangs; Man in court for city centre fire. And that's just today!
Compare that with today's Welsh headlines: Death of 'Grandma' hit-song writer; Young shoemaker's UK craft award; Homes danger during gorse blaze; Sheep moved to summer grazing; Sheep talent contest postponed; Sheep Appreciation Society moves to Village Hall due to rain. It's just so freaking boring. I mean, the highlight of the day for these people must be looking up at clouds and masturbating."
The Welsh Assembly hit back saying that they're being misrepresented. One un-named member told us, "We've got many different uses for sheep; wool for example. We also have Lambing Live on TV every year. That's Welsh porn at its very best. And did you know, in 1872, the Welsh invented the condom, using a sheeps bladder. However in 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep."
It's not all bad, however. Following this news the price of lamb in Wales has just gone up for the first time in 11 years. It's now £4.95 per hour.
This is Zelda, one of the more expensive options