Breaking news, Middle Class children are more likely to be harmed by internet use that their poorer peers and it has nothing to do with the ability to afford a computer. According to researchers, the reason for this shocking statistic is linked exclusively to the relative attractiveness of wealthy children. We spoke to a known sex offender who said
I just can’t bring myself to fancy the poorer ones, they’re usually scruffy in their photos, and often fatter even than me.
The research also pointed to the inherent risk of meeting up with what they called "chavdren" (a compound word from chav and children). Dr. Dennis from St. Theresa’s college in London said
our research shows that one in 4 children under the age of 8 carry knives when meeting in person people they have previously chatted to online. This has created a Culture of Fear amongst sex offenders. In addition there are several offenders who have reported gunshot wounds from 6 year olds. Whether this is the same 6 year old, we don’t know.
So how can you protect your child?
• Only let them use the webcam if they’re wearing a full Lacoste tracksuit.
• Let them go online BEFORE their evening bath or AFTER they come in from “rough play”.
• Only allow them to upload photos of themselves playing with knives and/or weaponry.
The most effective protection for Middle Class Children has been developed in conjunction with offenders and is called the “Working Class Backdrop”. It is available for all localities including “The Yorkshire” which comes with yapping whippet soundtrack and “The Cockney” with Pearly King Jacket and is available in most larger supermarkets to hang in front of your webcam. This product will give the illusion that your child is from a lower class background and is designed to protect them from grooming.
