The personal details of hundreds of Isle of Wight inhabitants have been lost in a massive security blunder when a councillor left his rollerdeck in a Shanklin teashop. It’s feared the security breach may lead to a spate of identity thefts. There have already been unconfirmed reports of fake library cards turning up in Newport.
In order to try and recover the rollerdeck the council have placed a postcard advert in the Post Office window, John from the Hook and Tackle has agreed to make an announcement on Quiz Night, and Doreen, the island gossip, has been informed of the situation,’ I just don’t know what else we can do’ stated a beleaguered Councillor Hayes.
The security breach could not have come at a worse time for the unpopular council. Only three months ago an undercover investigation by the local Herald newspaper sparked the “Council canteen sticky bun expenses scandal” and last year’s “Lollipop lady revolt” is still fresh in many minds.
The council’s situation worsened when this week’s Herald printed a resident’s angry letter. ‘There’s a revolutionary anarchist element within The Herald’s Letters Page readers’ explained Councillor Hayes. ‘So we fear this may trigger a militant letter writing campaign. Bob the postman already has his trolley on standby to deal with the extra load. We’re just relieved the letter didn’t receive Letter of the Week status. Who knows what damage that could have done?’
In the teashop at the centre of the security scandal sit pensioners June and Doris. ‘The bridge club were so angry they attempted to march on the council offices’ explained Doris, ‘but they had to stop when Alf’s hip started playing up. I think Mrs Robinson probably stole them’ she added suspiciously. ‘I’ve never trusted her. She doesn’t eat dairy products’ ‘What not even fish?’ interrupted a surprised June. ‘Don’t be silly dear’ scolded Doris before June continued, ‘Will I need to get a new identity, because I like being me? I’m too old to start being someone else. Although my horoscope did say that I’d meet a stranger. Do you think it meant me?’ ‘Don’t be silly dear’ repeated Doris.
Teashop owner Pat explained, ‘Well I wouldn’t have a clue what a rollerdeck looks like. I’m no good with all this new-fangled technology. I still haven’t got used to that new Ceefax thing’.
The council have urged anyone with information to call their free confidential hotline on 0800 7.