With no seats changing parties North of the border, rock dinosaurs Status Quo have clung to power in Scotland, leaving The Proclaimers trailing in second place with SuBo lagging behind a disappointing third.
A Delighted Francis Rossi, the balding ponytailed one, said, “it’s easy to win an election up here. The people of Scotland remember the dark days of Maggie and never want to return to the nightmare of the 1970’s when Rod Stewart first released Maggie May and blighted the nation with those leopard skin leggings, leaving an indelible scar on the Scottish phsyche. That terrible period also gave rise to the abhorrent Nationalist BCR movement, or Bay City Rollers as they like to call themselves.”
Disappointed in defeat, one of The Proclaimers (even they don’t know which one is which) uttered something incomprehensible, but very catchy, before storming off up a mountain.