After years and years of rumour and innuendo, professional wrestling league WWF finally decided to drop the act and change the rule books to allow for hardcore man on man sex in the ring.
Harris Masters, CEO of WWE, explains. "I just felt sorry for those poor guys spending hour after hour rolling around on top of each other in their underpants, grunting and straining, but never allowed to go all the way, forever denied the release they so urgently need. It's probably what has made them so aggressive and become fighters really."
Sexual congress will not be compulsory, but simply enter the portfolio of maneuvers a wrestler may employ to make his opponent lie down for ten minutes.
"Yes, ten minutes, not ten seconds" says Masters. "I mean who can't do ten seconds. Ten minutes is far more of a test."
Well oiled, muscular men with a mysterious interest in gymnasiums may be rejoicing but a controversial clause prohibits heterosexual intercourse in the ring. "Wrestling has always been ours" said one gay activist. "There are plenty of places where straight people can have sex already."
Most fans are supportive but some are concerned that the openly romantic nature of the bouts will mean the sport loses its competitive edge.
"Not at all" says Masters. "This opens up all sorts of possibilities for more classic feuds between WWE wrestlers. Imagine how much more intense a John Cena and Triple H grudge match will be if Cena's pissed off because H didn't phone him the next day."