The Palace revealed the long anticipated Queen 2.0 at Parliament today. Completely revised and overhauled, the new Majesty should be good to see service for another 25 years, a spokesman said. It's no secret that a newer replacement is undergoing trials, but with the release of Queen 2.0, it could be some time before this one is mothballed.
New equipment includes an uprated brain jammer. Once activated, whole rooms of otherwise powerful men and women are reduced to a glassy-eyed stare, ready and willing to laugh uproariously at the weakest of jokes. Aimed at the Speaker John Bercow, the jammer led to a complete malfunction, leading him to describe Queen 2.0 as a "kaleidoscope Queen of a kaleidoscope country in a kaleidoscope Commonwealth. This is possibly the most effective weapon in the Monarch's new armour.
However, some critics say the re-fit doesn't go nearly far enough, pointing out that this latest Monarch is still dependent on a spare part from Greece which performs erratically at public outings.
The launch was met by a small but vocal group of objectors who claim the millions spent on maintaining and equipping Queen 2.0 is money wasted and there is no longer a need for the country to maintain a credible monarchy. And should a need arise, they argue, we could borrow one from a nearby country such as Sweden or the Netherlands. But not France or Germany, who somehow limp along without one.