A bird-shaped black plastic kite tethered to a pole outside a London office has flown into controversy after a row over naming rights. A company newspaper revealed that the pigeon-scarer had been named ‘Russell’ by New Zealander Cheryl Nightingale, a PA with a sharp sense of humour, and that the name had quickly spread amongst the workforce. However, financial consultant Ray Venn, who owns and installed the kite outside his office window, was swift to cry fowl. He insists that ‘Russell’ is actually a rook called Kelly B.
Ray said, “It’s hard to swallow. Kelly B Rook has not only had her name half-finched, they’ve changed her species and gender too, the robin bustards.”
There is a concern that the dispute could escalate with Cheryl threatening to kick Ray up the rhea unless he stops being such a grouse. Meanwhile, Mr Venn has tweeted that toucan play at that game.
Kiwi Cheryl said, “I think Ray’s just a loon trying to duck out of admitting his idea is a turkey. Russell is so obviously a crow; if he's a rook then I'm a ruddy duck. And if Ray continues to hawk his version of the story about, I’ll start calling him Chesney.”
Company bosses are set to intervene by providing Cheryl with a whole series of crow-shaped kites of her own, saying that they wouldn’t want a murder on their hands.