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New earth-like planet discovered at car boot sale
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Nails UK
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Senior astronomers are today investigating claims that an amateur stargazer has found a new earth-like planet at a car boot sale in Chadderton near Greater Manchester.
Norbert Pollack’s regular Sunday morning routine of visiting the local rotary club charity sale, in the hope of picking up a bargain or two, unexpectedly turned into the day of his life.“I was just sorting through a box of the usual tat you get at these places – Clarice Cliff, Moorcroft, Lalique, that sort of thing – when I suddenly spotted what I thought was something with a breathable atmosphere. I had a pretty good look at it and became more and more convinced that it was a new planet. I tell you, my heart was pounding but I managed to keep a poker face when I asked the stallholder what he wanted for it. After a bit of skilled negotiating, I managed to snap it up for a pound, and even better, got it bundled with a vinyl of Gary Numan’s Telekon Tour, which I’ve been looking for for ages.”
Professor Brian Cox of the University of Manchester expressed some scepticism about the find. “We get lots of these supposed sightings from amateurs every year, and unfortunately most of them turn out to be planets we already know about. Frankly, every Tom, Dick or Harry with a pair of binoculars think they’ve spotted something new, whereas serious, proper astronomers have telescopes that could spot a pimple on the backside of an ant on Pluto, and they can spend a lifetime searching without finding anything. Anyway, how could something as large as a planet be found in a cardboard box?”
Mr Pollack was however quick to dismiss these objections. “He’s only jealous that I spotted it first. It’s his own fault – you have to get there really early to get the good stuff. He was probably still in bed after being up all night partying with Dara O’Briain.”
Posted 1 year ago #
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