To mark the 100th anniversary of Scott reaching Antarctica, Sir Ranulph Fiennes is seeking to recruit young women from Newcastle for his next trip to the South Pole.
The veteran explorer said ‘Young lasses from the North East regularly go out clubbing on ‘the toon’ in the freezing cold wearing next to nothing’. They are accustomed to braving minus temperatures and seem to have resilience to lower temperatures that would be an advantage on the expedition’.
A straw poll of young women from the Newcastle area however showed that the local females are unlikely to take up the challenge.
Tracey BroonAle said ‘Hoo ye gannin, pet Them explorers are soft as shite man, wi all thi Peter Storm clobber. They shud tri a neet owt on lash wi’ just a mini skirt n skimpy top, hinny.’
Critics of Fiennes say that his plan is a thinly disguised ruse to get attractive girls who like wearing next to nothing and having a few bevvies to brighten up his otherwise dull exploration.
The explorer rebuked this suggestion, saying that these women regularly risk hypothermia and even frostbite in their pursuit of a good night out.
The Haddock cannot confirm a rumour that Katy Price, Jennifer Ellison and Abi Titmus are to lead a team of adventurers to the North Pole later this summer.