A major new campaign to roll back the so-called ‘nanny state’ has been pulled after only two weeks. The multi-million pound campaign ‘No to Nasty Nanny Oversight!’ (NNNO!) was pulled following extensive market research showing that the ‘proud British public’ had no idea who or what a ‘nanny’ was, or indeed why it was such a bad idea to have them running the country.
‘I used to have a Nana and a Grandad, they were nice. But I don’t think that’s the same is it?’ mused Clare Roper, a data inputter from Crawley ‘I think nannies might have been big in Victorian England. I vaguely remember doing something about them at school … didn’t they help children take medicine or something?’
The findings were initially met with shock by the founders of NNNO! ‘It turns out that most of our target audience – the B/C1/C2/D/E’s - have rather different child-rearing traditions to ours.' explained NNNO! founder Rupert Harrington-Berkshire still coming to terms with the market research findings.
‘Apparently they use one or more of the natural biological parents to rear the child, with occasional help from friends and relatives... I must say I’m rather jealous. But it leaves us with a bloody useless campaign. If you can’t summon the spectre of Nanny, how can you get across the awfulness of bureaucrats? There they are, watching our every move, telling us to do up our seat belts, not to blow smoke in other people’s faces and to stop cock-fighting? But how do we get across the awfulness of that if you haven’t had a middle-aged hired hand watching you like a hawk and beating you senseless?’ before adding ‘You’ll have to excuse me for a moment, we appear to have an intruder on camera 3. Now where are the hounds?’