A new report into the Christian Church has just been published by the Pseudo-Science Research Council which was given unprecedented behind-the-scenes access to much of the Church's daily activities.
Citing the ritual of "Communion" the report explains how Christians believe that they are actually drinking blood and eating human flesh.
"This can't possibly be healthy in a modern society." said Graham Wicken, head of the research team.
The report explains that the "worshippers" meet in a designated meeting place, known as a "Church" and queue up to meet the leader or "Priest" who presents them with a cup of wine and a piece of unleavened bread, which they are told, via the miracle of "transubstantiation" has been turned into the very blood and flesh of their supreme leader "Jesus Christ". They then proceed to consume said flesh and blood. The report continues: Before you can partake in this arcane and disturbing ritual, there is a pre-requisite series of initiation ceremonies. These are the "Christening" usually performed at an alarmingly young age, followed by the "Confirmation". Once the initiate has passed through these
degrees ceremonies they are allowed to participate in the ultimate "communion" ritual.
The Christian Church is also often accused of undertaking charity work supporting other Christians and showing a suspicion of other organisations similar to itself like Islam or Hinduism.
One person interviewed as part of the survey was quoted as saying "Drink blood? I'd rather be a Freemason!"