Reports are coming in that a pride of gay Lions featured in a recent BBC documentary have been tracked down and slaughtered by a gang of hate fuelled poachers in west Africa.
The murdered lions were discovered in a clearing at the edge of the jungle and their mutilated remains left hanging from a tree, clearly as a warning to any other queer or poofy (sic) African animal who may consider ‘coming out’ in future.
The charred remains of the lion’s den were still smouldering as a BBC news-crew arrived at the scene. Local government officials refused the team access to the clearing but one cameraman managed to take pictures of the bodies using a mobile phone hidden in his ruck-sack. I’m afraid the sound quality of the newsreel is not very good but the footage clearly shows the sickening brutality suffered by these poor creatures.
Some non-homophobic viewers may find the images disturbing.
The lions had only recently moved into the area but it wasn't long before they had turned the run-down jungle into a thriving community, setting up tea rooms and trendy boutiques and restoring the dilapidated dens.
Female lions said they felt safe walking the plains at night and the other animals agreed the new bars and nightclubs opened by the gay lions not only played the best music but attracted all the best dancers too.
The BBC film-crew had followed the gay pride as they marched around the plains hunting for food, filming as they went.
Documentary footage revealed gay lions only ever went out in gangs to hunt for food, shunning the gratuitous violence and drunken behaviour of the ubersexual straight lions. Dinner was carefully prepared and well presented and a table always set for meal times. Not for them a micro-waved pot noodle slouched in front of the TV watching Sky Sports in their underpants.
Witnesses say the lions had been rounded up by the poachers and forced to watch as their loved ones were massacred. It seems the other animals simply turned their backs on the lions – something they hadn’t ever dared do before. Some wildebeest and zebras cheered as the lions were slaughtered while the hyenas simply stood around in a pack laughing at the brutality.
The outrage has sent fear throughout the gay community in Africa with reports that leading civil rights campaigner Nelly the Elephant has now gone into hiding.
Left handed orang-utans and ginger kittens are said to be fleeing the country in increasing numbers, fearing they could be the next target of naked African intolerance and bigotry although it is the aardvarks who fear they could be first on the poachers next hit-list.
But everyone agrees, anyone caught hanging out with a mandrill could be in serious trouble.
Queen of the Jungle butchered by poachers
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Reports are coming in that a pride of gay Lions featured in a recent BBC documentary have been tracked down and slaughtered by a gang of hate fuelled poachers in west Africa.Posted 1 year ago #
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