A scientific paper to be published in "Nature" claims to show that drivers who keep their eyes tightly shut could be putting lives at risk.
The paper, published following 18 months of intense research details how drivers were rendered incapable of avoiding the simplest of obstacles when their vision was obstructed by their eyelids.
"This was a surprising result" explained Richard Phillips, head of the research team. "By closing the eyes you are technically reducing the number of distractions for the driver. You would expect performance to improve.".
To test this theory, drivers were divided into two groups. The first group were instructed to drive with their eyes shut (and no peeping) and the second was given smart phones and asked to update their "facebook" status whilst moving. Contrary to expectations, the "facebook" updaters were able to avoid some of the obstacles some of the time, while the "closed eyes" drivers were a complete disaster.
"Clearly, updating your FB status whilst driving is stupid, I mean, you don't need a research paper to tell you that!" continued Mr. Phillips. "But my basic theory is that reducing distraction should be everything". "We will have to go and look at what this is saying about the psychology of driving and how distractions affect your concentration" he said. "After all, I smoke while on the road and apart from being blinded by the fumes, coughing like a consumptive and the occasional small fire, it is relatively non-distracting and hey, what's a few bevvies between friends - I'm a much more relaxed driver after a skinful - but I can't believe that it is still legal to fit cars with a radio capable of receiving Chris Moyles" he added.
Mr. Phillips is also involved in a new research project.
"We have been given a very large grant to investigate the defaecatory habits of bears. Clearly, open ground gives a better view of approaching danger, so we were totally shocked when, given the choice, the bears all buggered off into the trees to park their breakfasts."
The paper will be published in the "More glimpses of the bleedin' obvious" section of Nature.
