Curtsies all round to The Paper Ostrich whose story 'Nation enthralled as Kate does thing' was NewsBiscuit's most popular last month. This takes his tally of Writer of the Month awards to three, meaning he too can retire from life as a commoner and concentrate on good causes such as promoting the British fashion industry and tabloid newspaper sales. His prize was to be a marriage proposal from the Duchess of Cambridge, but sadly that was only redeemable on 29 February. Luckily, though, Prince Harry has agreed to step in as honorary fiancée.
Congratulations also to the excellent waylandsmithy whose stories, 'Lidl renames cheese 'Yummy Moo Lumps' after letter from moron' and 'Clarkson defends new series of 'The Black-and-White Top Gear Show'', were the second and third most-read stories in February. The top five was completed by 'Clinton Cards launches range of equivocal Valentine's cards for unfulfilling relationships' by Long Distance Clara, and 'RBS freezes Queen's bank accounts at Coutt's & Co after Goodwin stripped of knighthood' by someone called NewsBiscuit.
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