David Cameron has issued a YouTube video response following news that Argentina PM, Cristina Kirchner, has urged an embargo on British goods. "We get our shit from China anyway, losers!", he drawls whilst doing the cupped-hand wanker sign. Nick Clegg is leering in the background performing a perfect 'rock the cradle' with an 8 ball-bearing yo-yo (made in China), whilst Miliband stands emotionless, attempting the forehead 'L' loser sign. Watch him at 0:34 where he realises it's back to front and hastily switches hands before grinning with a swagger as if he knew all along.
It is fair to say the whole country is loving every second of the alpha male 'playground brawl' over the Falklands, with everyone anticipative of a cracking Argentinian response. William Hill have offered 3-1 on 'a dirty tango with extra rude gestures' and 100-1 for proposing 'a pistol duel with Lord Mandelson.'
Neither the British or Argentinian (technically a Spanish colony I think you'll find) populations give a prizewinning monkey about the Islands. In fact the average Brit treats the suggestion to check out 'www dot Falklands dot com' with the same suspicion as the classic Pen Island analogue. But the political beef need to maintain their stature, albeit by losing their dignity.
Speculation that the bickering is all just a show to perk up interest in the relations at the Olympics grew today after tickets for the International Insult event for disputing nations went on sale. Apparently we've selected Jeremy Clarkson and Frankie Boyle. The pair are currently engaged in a game of 'Shhhh... ...Shut up bitch!' (turn based game in a public library, telling ever louder, more politically incorrect jokes - winner is the first to complete the title phrase) to decide who gets to use the "That's what you get for electing a woman" angle.