Senior Conservatives have denied brokering a power-sharing agreement with the Kidderminster Hospital and Health Concern party that could see Kidderminster hospital becoming a devolved region of the UK, and then an independent city state.
As election night wore on it became clear around 5am that all three main parties needed the support of Dr Richard Taylor, leader and sole mp of the KHHC, in order to form a government.
David Cameron intially denied bowing to Kidderminster's demands, but a source, speaking privately confirmed the deal had been done. 'Dave said "give him whatever he wants" he stated. "We were expecting the request for extra nurses, the funding of the biggest cancer unit in europe, the massage parlour and even the "holistic therapy snow dome" - but were taken aback by the aircraft carrier. The hospital is land-locked.'
Mr Cameron, reportedly furious that an aide offered independence on his behalf, appears to have warmed to the idea. 'An autonomous hospital with its own foreign policy fits in quite well with the Big Society", he was reported as saying. 'And at least we didn't have to deal with the bloody greens'.
Dr Taylor refused to be flattered by his new-found importance. "It was nice of Mr Brown to offer me the chairmanship of Glaxosmithkline, and even nicer of Mr clegg to offer me his fruity wife, but I had to put the needs of Kidderminster and health first. We want to show the rest of the UK how to run a first rate public health service, and will get to work as soon as the Kalashnikovs arrive from Tory HQ.