The avuncular Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has amazed his fellow educationalists with a foul-mouthed tirade against TV's leading dynasty today.
Speaking from the school live to BBC Breakfast Time's Bill Turnbull, he unleashed the following fusillade of abuse.
"Look Bill, for once and for all I have f**k all to do with the Dimbleby brothers. I don't f**king well know any Davids or Jonathans. Richard f**king Dimbleby? Who the f**k's he? I'm totally f**ked off with all you media bas***ds calling the school and asking me to anchor Election f**king Specials! So just pi** off and leave me in peace to mould the minds of young wizards and withches. I'm a f**king teacher! It's what I do! So just f**king well f**k off. You knobhead!"
The BBC was quick to issue an apology as their switchboard went into meltdown following the amazing interview, and Mr Turnbull was visibly shocked following the outburst. An unnamed source at Hogwarts commented.
"It's all a bit fraught here at the moment, what with talk of Voldemort back and spreading mayhem, and as if that isn't bad enough, we've got Ofsted coming next week. I think Albus is just living on his nerves at the moment to be quite honest."
This high profile incident will only fan the flames and lend weight to the argument that rather than being a good thing, Ofsted inspections are placing too much pressure on teaching professionals.