Greek restaurant owners were shocked into silence yesterday when plate smashing was outlawed due to new austerity measures. In a further shock, already stunned restaurateurs were told that they could only smash one cup saucer for every 5 exclamations of the word, "Hoopa!"
On receiving the news, Angelos Papadopoulos, owner of the Pantheon Bites restaurant in Athens said, "They have ripped out our hearts, thrown them into our ovens, stuffed them with a tasty mix of mince and aubergine and served them to the Devil who has shit it out onto to our warm graves. I cannot even muster up the energy to offer you a Ouza and shout Hoopa, it would be added to my quota."
Angelos was not the only one displaying his emotion in a very non-British way as rioters took their last plates and threw them at riot police whilst showering them with Ouzo molotov cocktails. The streets of Athens were once again on fire tonight but this time aroma was of fury and very much of aniseed too.