The BBC have been fending off various complaints about Jeremy Clarkson for years now but Mr Clarkson’s face has been getting longer over the years and now looks like it is about to fall off his skull. Now measuring over 2 feet from top to bottom the slack jawed monstrosity has created outrage across the country and the complaints have flooded into the BBC.
‘My Jimmy likes to watch Top Gear on a Sunday night, but Clarkson’s face sent him running from the room in tears, he hasn’t slept properly since’, claimed Mrs Alice Jones of Grimsby. ‘We haven’t seen anything so disturbing since the Inspiral Carpets played at the town hall.’
Mr Geoff Whitely of Emsworth, Sussex wrote in, ’Jeremy’s face was nothing short of a danger to public sanity. It is reminisant of the writings of Lovecraft and I fully expect him to be sprouting tentacles and openly worshipping the Old God Cuthulhu on screen in the near future. The big dopey one already looks unsettlingly like a Shoggoth’
Mr Clarkson seems strangely shy about the issue and has been avoiding reporters for days. When we finally tracked him down he lost us by diving into a field of donkeys then standing still and looking mournful, after several hours of searching we gave up.