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Scroat
offlineMember
Is it just me, or has there been a big increase in the number of stupidly large cars being driven by mums with babies in car seats? It seems that BMW, Mercedes, Audi and other manufacturers have introduced huge cars that take up loads of road room. There's also a Porsche I believe.
I just feel this urge to shout at them whenever I see one. I thought we were supposed to economising on fuel and reducing pollution. Why can't they drive something smaller FFS? Only mum and a nipper on board!
John Ffitch-Rucker
offlineMember
No, it’s not just you; where I live, a small market town in the East Midlands, there are huge numbers of these leviathans being driven by little women with their sprogs in the back. I suspect that it’s ostensibly because of the perceived ’safety’ of such vehicles, plus the element of conspicuous consumption. However, a crap driver in a tank is still a crap driver, something the little women don’t seem to get. The irony is that if the little cherubs are hit by one of these monsters, they are more likely to suffer serious injury or death than if hit by a standard saloon, due to the bumpers being at head/thorax height rather than leg height.
And how come men never want to ask for directions, eh? And what is it that takes my wife so long when we're getting ready to go out?
I see Abu Hamza's in the news again.
You wanna know what Pisses me off? Paedophiles. Jesus, those blokes annoy me. I'm like "stop raping kids, you idiots!" Am I right, everyone? What are those muppets thinking? Eh?
Anyone from London here tonight?
The All New Jeni B
offlineMember
Oh Jesus!!
Hi *waves*, I'm a 5' woman with a big Mitsubishi 4x4 and *gasp* one child!!
Not only that, but before it, I had an even bigger 4x4 with an even bigger engine!
Is it the fact that it's a woman driver that pisses you off?
If you would like to see my driving credentials, I'd be happy to provide the variety of certificates I have which prove I'm a good, considerate, and forward thinking driver.
I'd also happily buy a smaller car, but really don't know how I'd get my three large dogs, horse gear, child with school bag, field kit, musical instruments into it.
Never mind how I would get anywhere from my house at the top of a very steep drive, at the top of a very steep hill in the winters.
Or should I move house too?
allmyownstunts
offlineMember
Mr Uke, I think that misses the point though it's a gallant try.
A man driving a 4x4 is never commented upon.
But if it's a woman, she's a 'yummy mummy' stupid pampered bitch. Go on, shout at her!
Scroat, is it only the women who should get smaller cars?
I know you probably see more women driving them than men, that's because they have probaly had to put aside their careers to spend years of their prime pureeing carrots and wiping bums, while their husbands carry on up the career ladder, their own gas-guzzling car safely in the company undergound car park.
sorry for rant. The phrase 'yummy mummy' is just so diminishing for the men who use it. They are just women getting through the drudgery of the baby years, and if they've got a nice car, great, would you trade lives?
Leave them alone. Find a real cause to get mad about.
Mary Evans
offlineMember
I hate to let the sisterhood down, but I'm with Scroat on this one. I mean, come on girls, what's wrong with you? The man's got a point - we should be economising on fuel, reducing pollution and taking up less road space. And the second you can fit three car seats. two buggies, a family of six and five years of crisp packets/tissues impregnated with bubonic plague/assorted Lego detritus on a unicycle, count me in...
Come on people, these are dark times, let's all stick together. Besides, it's the BMW drivers that are the real cocks.
The All New Jeni B
offlineMember
Stunts, have I mentioned lately how much I love you?
Id- 'scuse me, I mistakenly thought that my hot as self would be included, although you're still an unbelievably irritating prick. You remind me so much of when I discovered my latex allergy.
Maz, darling, I don't care, I still love you and would happily bear you children.
Ironduke
offlineMember
Aren't all these presumptive generalisations wonderful! My wife drives a skoda oktavia estate. Its much better (and newer) than my work car, though both have tape decks, and mine is pre-central locking.
Two kids, bikes in the back, her horse vet kit, aforementioned crisp packets and vile crusty tissues in a deep-litter laundry system, buckets and spades in case we have a trip to the beach (garden shovel for me, I get competitive on sandcastling). We can go camping in it, sometimes take a trailer.
I think the giant 4x4's are great for those who need them, like Jeni and her snowy drive...but for the shuffle to suburban school gates, merely choosing a massive vehicle so if there is a crash the other car comes off worst, seems a little onesided- whether driven by Dads OR Mums.
And thank you for the reference Jeni...I do hope your pudenda has settled down now. The important thing is you find an alternative method of contraception, otherwise you'll be down the people mover showrooms or renting a bus, and then scroat really will get sad.
Don't you just hate it when BMW drivers take the disabled parking spots at supermarkets? And they drive right up behind you when you're on the motorway. I reckon it's because they have smaller penises. There!
And what about those Americans, eh? They don't know much about the outside world, do they? Unless there's bloody oil to be had, eh?
I see Nick Clegg's in the news again.
What is it with airline food?
John Ffitch-Rucker
offlineMember
Hmm, so white van man, BMW drivers, Audi drivers, cyclists and every other selfish, inconsiderate road using minority can be criticised, but not if they have ovaries. That’s fair.
Jeni, presumably people lived in your area before the invention of 4x4s; how did they cope?
Stunts, if your’re really in the Black Isle, you’re probably trespassing on my ancestral land - be nice or I’ll have you evicted.
writinginbsl
offlineMember
hmmmmm
I ride a bike locally when i can-not as often as i should, i freely admit. sorry, jfr, that makes me selfish and inconsiderate, and i have ovaries.
the people who drive most arrogantly in my rural area are undoubtedly the men and women who drive 4x4s. i know my evidence is of a qualitative, not quantitative nature, but i stand by it nevertheless. also, on the admittedly rare occasions when i have to pick up my darlings from school, it does SEEM to be the 4x4 driving folk, usually women, who leave their engines running for the half an hour or so after they arrive-presumably to keep the micro-climate in the car cool or warm. this i find a bit depressing. however i did hear a radio 4 journo saying that some people in Quatar will leave their engines running all day to keep the car cool for if they go out in the evening.
I agree with jfr about the way some people think their chd are more same if they are in a 4x4, but forget perhaps that as pedestrians they are much less safe if hit by a 4x4.
in the interests of balance, im sure that there are lovely people who also drive 4x4s-but there doesnt seem to be many round yer.
also-in my car neither the heating nor air conditioning has worked since we bought it, so perhaps i am just jealous of people who have it in their cars. there is only so much you can do with a hot water bottle.
Ironduke
offlineMember
As I hope is clear from my post, I really don't care who owns or drives them, and I see a perfect justification for having them where there is an actual need (rough terrain etc).
However, merely picking a bigger, taller, heavier vehicle for a school run shuffle smacks of 'I'm alright Jack', and is in a similar vein to turning out for a game of rugby wearing a suit of armour, or escalating a school run vehicle safety race until we have demilitarized army surplus Chieftain tanks with 'Baby on Board' stickers on the back.
I agree with Golgo, and let's not even get started on MP's expenses.
But I think the real underlying issue here isn't that some women drive 4x4s, it's that women are allowed to drive at all. Surely in the interests of safety they should just stay at home.
godly1966
offlineMember
Golgo I agree BMW drivers do drive to close behind you on motorways but it is not their fault it is just how they have evolved. Millions of years ago when man first learnt to walk upright he evolved to walk leaving a gap between himself and the person in front to allow for the size of his penis and prevent any accidental poking of the man in front. Millions of years later men still walk leaving a gap in front of them so as not to engage in any unwanted poking action, if you have a large penis you will leave a large gap and if you are deficient in the penis department you will leave a small gap. This behaviour subconsciously carries over in to driving technique and therefore the gap left between a male driver and the car in front is dependent on the size of his penis, but the driver has no control over this as it is the result of millions of years of evolution and not his fault. BMW have for years been marketing their cars at penis deficient men which explains the amount of tailgating by BMWs on the motorway. Many insurance companies are now asking for penis size to be declared on all applications for BMW insurance.I allways leave at least twenty car spaces between me and the car infront.
dvo4fun
offlineMember
Fuck all the motor fuel references - what I want to know is what temperature do you set for your central heating and how long do you run your power-shower? Every litre of domestic oil/gas/peat that someone (else) burns is another nanosecond nearer the time when all the however many there are polar ice caps melt.
Hang on though ..
I'm approaching state pensionable age...
The mean temperature of the planet is something or other - which is..
A degree or so higher than it was some time ago..
So, do something mathematicallish with a calculator..
I think it'll see me out. Hoorah. After you with the Aston Martin
Anonymous
offlineUnregistered
Oof! Knives are out for the Cheshire panzer division!
They make perfect sense. When you're paying your 17 year-old Lithuanian nanny to drop the kids off at prep school, you're not going to hope she survives the carnage in a Golf, are you?
Some 4x4s can manage 50mpg these days. But only the shit ones. I for one enjoy cowering in fear as some 5 litre behemoth bears down on me on the wrong side of the road, the nanny and 3 of the kids all sharing the driving. That might only apply to the country lanes around Alderley Edge and Wilmslow, in fairness.
John Ffitch-Rucker
offlineMember
"I for one enjoy cowering in fear as some 5 litre behemoth bears down on me on the wrong side of the road, the nanny and 3 of the kids all sharing the driving. That might only apply to the country lanes around Alderley Edge and Wilmslow, in fairness”...
Nope - also applies to streets around here (Lincs.) that were considered ‘a bit on the narrow side’ when they were laid out - when Henry VIII was on wife 3. Still, as long as the kids are safe.
Teenagers...huh? Am I right? We used to get a clip round the ear!
Do you remember Bungle out of Rainbow? What was that about? And when your Nan used to spit on a hanky to clean your face...
Do you remember all that stuff from the past?
I see John Prescott's in the news again.
And what's the deal with airline food?
fernandomando
offlineMember
Golgo, I quite agree. I went to the Isle of Wight over the weekend and I seem to have returned to 2004. On that note I am off to borrow £500k for a cheeky little beach hut in Gurnard before retraining to be an estate agent.
Sinnick
offlineMember
@Scroat, think of a simple phrase that includes the words "worms" and "can".
Having just done the school run myself, half the vehicles are ridiculously large for this tiny cul-de-sac, and 90% of the parents are female. Linking these 2 facts gives a stereotype. I get annoyed because half of these drivers live just 300 yards away and could make the kids walk; the other half could park just a little further away to avoid the dangerous congestion (no, I don't necessarily mean the other side of Manchester).
@godly, you've got most of a half-decent sub there. We haven't had a poke at BMW drivers for a couple of months ...
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