Film critics have unanimously agreed that anyone who doesn't like the film The Artist, is probably the kind of slack jawed imbecile who finds Adam Sandler films hilarious, and thinks all trips to the cinema involve stuffing overpriced pop corn into their mouths, along with frequent converstaions on their phones, accompanied by constant texting.
"The fact that I fell asleep in it, and secretly wished that something would explode during most of the film is beside the point." Said James Swithens, a keen film goer who enjoys learning dead languages along with expressing artistic snobery at dinner parties. "This film is silent and in black and white, so really, I mean...I don't have a choice. I just have to like it...and I do. On another note, has anyone seen Drive? It's actually not that bad. I mean, it's awful mainstream filth I know, but I liked it...er, in an ironic way."
Film critics went on to uphold their unspoken aggrement not to mention Roman Polanski's sodomization of a thirteen year old, as critics were queing up to declare his latest offering, Carnage as 'a triumph', 'brave', and 'not at all pervy'.