Senior Apple executives are in emergy seance talks with Steve Jobs as they try to hammer out an agreement over what the fuck to do next.
Jobs departed this life leaving a lot of questions unanswered. Some board members are unclear over his vision for cloud services, others have argued over interpretation of his social media strategy. Meanwhile, there is a small number of invoices that Accounts has raised queries about. In desperation, head of human resources Ann Stoneheart called for a seance so that issues could be resolved.
In the spirit of openness and compliance, Apple lawyers insisted on a multi media broadcast that traversed TV, radio and the Internet, while working across protocol stacks in both this world and the next. These rare special integration skills come at a high premium and Apple lacked the in house expertise to set up the confer-seance. There was one man in the post room who might have done it, but he is off sick at the moment. So Apple called in Todd TokenRing, a freelance consultant who specialises in integration between live and dead technologies. "The spirit world has a very different way of handling data packets," said Tokenring, "That's why voices so all spooky when they cross over from the other side. The undead don't really go whoo whoo - it's a break down in quality of service."
Stoneheart said she was proud to chair the inaugural, integrated Seance-cum-conference call for the world's leading technology corporation. Apple now leads the way on both sides of the mortality sector, she told the audience.
The Seancer-ference hybrid, though a bold first attempt, still needs a little tweaking, however.
"Steve buddy, are you there? Knock twice on the iBoard for yes," said Stoneheart.
"Oh, for Christ's sake," replied Jobs, "What do you want now?"