With news that Carlos Tevez is back in Manchester today the world issued a collective sigh of relief.
The British army has been stood down to an amber footing as the threat of all out war recedes. The deployment of a warship to the Falkland Islands causing Argentina to complain to the UN, insisting on sweeping sanctions against the UK will now be reversed.
Speaking in Spanish at Heathrow, Tevez said, “Mancini may have treated me like a dog, but frankly, the daily abuse, the weather and the mansion in Cheshire where I am forced to live is all worth enduring for lasting peace between our two nations. At least I can still get corned beef.”
David Cameron earlier reacted to the developments by saying, “it’s good that they have finally seen sense. We bought him, we paid for him and so he might seem to the entire world Argentinean, but he is definitely ours.”
As part of the swap deal, The Duchess of Cambridge will be sent to the region instead of Prince William until the end of the season to work with the Buenos Aries Rovers Youth Art Foundation.