Argentina's transport workers' union says it will extend its recent naval boycott to Duran Duran’s private yacht as used in the iconic video for the band’s 1983 hit single Rio.
The union - which includes New Romantic dock workers and post-punk engineers - said the measure would apply to all UK vessels used in pop videos, regardless of their final chart position. The announcement is the latest in a series of tit-for-tat measures aimed at pressing Argentina's claim to sovereignty over the islands, which it mistakenly refers to as the Malvinas. The move is likely to play havoc with the band’s bid to sail around the world using only 1980s technology such as a compass, sextant and a tattered copy of the Norton Sea Atlas owned by midshipman John Taylor.
"We have resolved to boycott any ship with the British flag, or with the lying and invented flag of the Falklands, or with any flag of convenience which the British pirates use," the Argentine Confederation of Transport Workers said in a statement. But band leader Simon Le Bon hit back claiming pirate costumes for New Romantics was so 1980 and that if Argentina had bothered to watch the video they would realise the band’s preferred seafaring attire is loose-fitting brightly coloured suits with massive shoulder pads.
Argentine President, Cristina de Kirchner, meanwhile mocked the group’s attempt to circumnavigate the globe, insisting their entire sailing experience to-date consisted of a pleasant afternoon’s video-shoot off the coast of Bournemouth. In a strongly-worded statement, Kirchner slammed their vessel ‘The Reflex’ as unseaworthy and that it would be unable to cope with Captain Le Bon’s recent weight gain. She added, ‘The English pretty boys stand no chance. I mean, if you have GPS at your disposal then why-aye-aye-aye-aye don’t you use it ? ‘
Last night Kirchner ratcheted up the tension in the region, warning that any breach of Argentina’s airspace by the futurist Gary Numan in his bi-plane would be considered an act of war and could result in his aircraft being shot down. This morning Numan responded via voice-synthesiser, claiming ‘They’ve accused me of sabre-rattling but I think you’ll find that was Spandau Ballet. My look was a lot more minimalist. ’
A Downing Street spokesman said of the growing tensions, ‘We take these warnings very seriously. If Gary, or indeed any other Numanoid, is planning to visit Buenos Aires any time soon we’d advise them to travel by car. There, at least, they can feel safest of all. ’