The real world today announced that it would rearrange itself in accordance with the beliefs and desires of the acting ‘profession’. “I finally realised that I’ve been mistaken,” said Mr. World, aged 4.54 billion years. “Obviously, people who spend their lives dressing up and pretending to be other people know considerably more about how things should be done than those who’ve got relevant knowledge and expertise”.
In accordance with the new policy, and after taking the advice of various actors, the UN has announced that the world will be Buddhist on alternate tuesdays, anti-Semitic and drunk every Friday night, practice Kabbala at the weekends and the rest of the time will be practicing yoga or chanting the name of this week’s guru.
A spokesman for the psychiatry industry said ‘we anticipate a huge rise in the number of bulimic, drug and alcohol-addicted narcissists in the near future. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to the party’.
However, the major problem of transport has yet to be resolved, as 9 billion respondents to a survey said ‘no, I won’t drive a fucking Prius’.
Sean Penn was unavailable to comment, as he was having trouble getting his head out of Christina Kirchner’s arse.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Real world to be rearranged in accordance with actors preferences.
(6 posts) (6 voices)
Current rating::
-
John Ffitch-Rucker
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.