"All right who's next?" cried PM David Cameron as he deftly finished wiping the bottom of 87 year-old Effie Grace in the Sunny Lawns Care Home in Leicester yesterday.
"That's you ready for the road, my dear," he added, giving Mrs Grace a quick smear of zinc ointment and a playful slap on the thigh.
The PM is on a nationwide tour of old people's homes to boost their image as suitable places of work for the UK's young unemployed. The care industry is the only sector which consistently offers job opportunities.
"I can't think of a better way to earn a living," Mr Cameron stated later from the sluice room as he washed several turds down the sink along with a torrent of urine. "Old people have so much experience to pass on, apart from the ga-ga ones of course.
"And there's a perfect opportunity to learn an East European language from your colleagues while you work."
But what about the smell and the mess?
The PM laughed and replied ruefully: "Look - I have to deal with MPs, lobbyists and journalists all day. This is a breath of fresh air compared to that, trust me."