Blossoming actor Daniel Radcliffe has received mixed reviews for his latest performance, in which he attempts to appear 'edgy' and interesting in real life. Since reprising the role of an emotionless, slightly chippy public school boy who tries too hard in 'Harry Potter', Radcliffe has struggled to convince audiences that he's any different in person.
"Some people can't separate film characters from reality", complained the boy-faced methodical actor. "But my friends say I'm just like Nicholas Cage in 'Leaving Las Vegas'. I've spent many a 'lost weekend' in Basingstoke, reading about booze in the library. But I'm ready to admit that I have a problem, if it will help people to take me seriously and believe I'm some sort of tortured soul, suffering for my art."
Across a string of chat shows, Radcliffe has sought to convince the public that he's not tedious. "My agent showed me Oliver Reed's performance on Parkinson, I knew I was watching a master at work. So I told Graham Norton that I've been to a pub, too, then put my fingers down my throat and threw up on his sofa."
The ‘Hogwarts and all’ interview revealed many fabricated aspects of Radcliffe’s life, not least the details of his not-that-private drug hell. “I showed Graham the marks between my toes where I shoot in masses of heroin. But he wiped them off, and claimed I'd drawn them on with a biro."
Radcliffe is keen to distance his latest role from his childhood acting career, although he still makes the occasional tedious reference to his past. "All sorts of ladies have said I'm a wizard...in the bedroom!", quipped Radcliffe. "And by that, I mean I'm really magic at doing sex. You know, with my penis."
As audiences might expect from an actor who wants to appear to live on the edge, Radcliffe refused to talk for more than 20 minutes about his risqué chats with lady fans on Twitter. “I asked one of them if they liked having breasts, or had seen diagrams of people ‘doing it’. I was out of control, like some kind of animal. A sex fox, perhaps. Or an intercourse weasel.”
Radcliffe’s agent admits he’s not quite up to the standards of the hell raisers of yesteryear, but he thinks a new ‘kiss and tell’ book will change all that. “I gave Russell Brand £50 to mention him in ‘Booky Wook III’: there’s a whole chapter about how he accidentally shagged him.”