Royal Archivist Sir Richard Possett has reported an unusual discovery in the stack of the Palace Archive to the Guild of Fusted & Dusty Librarians in London yesterday.
"I was cataloguing the back-issues of Prince Phillip's 'specialist' magazines - goodness knows what the man sees in 'White Supremacist Monthly' and 'Big Asian Babes' - when I came across a small bundle wrapped in parchment. As I unwrapped the soiled and grubby pages I began to wonder if this could be one of the legendary diaries kept by George III during his mental collapse."
"Written at the onset of his illness on the advice of his physicians, these journals became a dangerous obsession and all were believed to have been destroyed, until now"
"The book consists of some 400 pages of the 18th Century equivalent of Izal medicated ,using an ink that appears to have been fashioned by the unfortunate monarch from his own excrement and urine"
"The first section is a diary, with generally whimsical observations on his treatments, his doctors, the lengthy discussions with the Larch outside his window and the rules for a game amalgamating polo, pelota and bridge."
"This then slides into a melancholic draft of a novel about an poverty-stricken aristocratic family of Savoy cabbages from Schleswig-Holstein before the mood darkens and degenerates into a tirade of filth directed at a character identified as "Yo' Fats""
"The remaining two hundred pages then consist solely of the word 'wibble' repeated over and over again in an increasingly desparate hand. The last page bears the poignant note 'Better Now, love Zarquon of Carpathia'"
If this document can be authenticated, Sir Richard believes it will be of enormous historical significance. "An antiquarian, such as myself, could dedicate years to unravelling its secrets" he warbled happily.
A spokesman for Buckingham Palace hinted that the Crown may have a different fate for the manuscript.
"If 'My Booky-Wook 2' and the biography of an advertising meerkat can become best sellers, why not 'Ramblings Of A Mad King Written In His Own Shit'? It still reads better than Dan Brown"
< can't come up with a snappier title though >