Buy a cage or we'll take the canary - RSPCA warns Auntie Mary. More soon.
(2 posts) (2 voices)
I think there is comedy gold or at least yellow in them thar drawers. I envisage a clash between RSPCA protection officials, intent on the exotic bird's well being; police officers who say Aunty Mary's rights are more important than the canary's, and as long as no harm is done, the bird must stay where it is. And a growing media pack arguing that the whole conflict is of genuine public interest. Dramatic reconstructions in the tabloids, lectures involving Humphrey Davey in the broadsheets. Fierce debate on Question Time. The case culminates after a long stand off in an expensively planned appearance by Aunty Mary in the High Court, with QCs acting for her, the media and the RSPB in fierce contention. But the case is settled on the court steps when, after an unusually litigious breakfast, flatulence encourages the canary to leave the drawers. Days later, the bird - now represented by Max Clifford - is still at large round the High Court, surviving in unseasonably warm weather and trying to get media attention in a debate about global warming. This is unsuccessful. Finally the canary attempts to find accommodation similar to that offered by Aunty Mary, only to find women in WC1 less accommodating than his former landlord. The canary is arrested, taken to Snow Hill police station and accidentally eaten by the station cat, ironically named Sylvester. The whole incident is the subject of a Public Enquiry, which is turned into a hit musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber and a movie starring Meryl Streep.
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