NASA has today been branded the 'dirty man' of outer space. In a withering attack pop-eyed, wild-haired astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, has dubbed the agency a total disgrace. Moore, speaking from his home in Selsey fumed.
"Just look at what they've done to the Moon. They've dumped three 'old motors' up there at least to my knowledge, and that's before you start to count the bottom halves of Lunar Landers, American flags, golf balls and God knows what else! Why couldn't they take this stuff to the tip, hold a garage sale or else pay some dodgy scrap dealers to get rid like the rest of us have to do?
It simply sets such an appalling example really. They've just left it all up there and I should imagine they think that somebody else is going to pick up after them. Well who? The Martians! Not flaming likely!"
As he warmed to his subject the manic moon-mapper looked like he was about to explode like some kind of human super nova, but then quite suddenly the scary scientist said, "Listen to this!" Before treating assembled journalists to a rendition of the Boney M classic 'Rivers of Babylon ' played virtuoso style, on the xylophone.