British journalism was thrown into disarray after top snooker star, John Higgins, alleged that the News of The World employed members of the Russian Mafia to write articles.
“I feared for my life,” said Mr Higgins. “There was an implicit threat that if I didn’t engage in a threesome with Petra Petrovavich and Anna Kareninavich, and let the NOTW photograph the event for a four page full colour exposé, then I wouldn’t get out of Moscow alive.”
Mr Pat Mooney, Higgins’ manager, concurred. “It was easier just to nod and go along with whatever they suggested. To be fair, their accents were so Russian it was difficult to understand what they were saying. Who knows what we agreed to?”
Both men looked shocked and devastated but warm in their Cossack hats. “We’ve possibly been idiots,” they said, “But we believed that we were being interviewed by serious Russian crime figures. We are the victims of clever editing.”
A spokesperson for the News of the World strenuously denied that the paper had ever been involved in clever editing.