Following on from the announcement by Sainsbury’s that they are changing the name of their tiger bread to ‘giraffe bread’ after receiving a letter from a 3 year old saying the pattern looked more like a giraffe than a tiger, ASDA have announced they are renaming their ‘Smart Price’ range to better reflect the products. The new ‘Tastes Like Shit’ range will be available in stores from Monday.
‘We realised that our customers aren’t as stupid as they look’ ASDA’s Chief Executive, Andy Clarke told us. ‘If a three year old can notice the pattern on tiger bread actually looks more like a giraffe, surely our customers will realise that Smart Price lasagne actually looks and ‘Tastes Like Shit’.
If the rebranding exercise goes well, there is talk of a possible change to ASDA’s clothing range. ‘We will look at renaming the clothes brand to again better reflect the product. So the ‘regal sounding’ George shall become known as ‘Wayne’’
Despite the changes to the value branding, the advertising will remain traditional. Mr Clarke told us that the new adverts will still have a woman in Primark jeans patting her arse, but from now on ‘she will then reflect the ‘Tastes Like Shit‘ range by sniffing her fingers.’