Beer lover, Gordon Burton, 55, of Somerset, found his New Year’s resolution to give up the booze for a month (so called Janupausing) more difficult to stick to than he envisaged. Normally a six pints of Pedigree a night man, Gordon swore off the beer for January but found the alternatives even more addictive.
“I started buying the low alcohol alternatives” said Gordon, “and then found I needed dozens of them to get anywhere near the same effect”.
Most low alcohol beers contain less than 0.5% alcohol therefore nine times the volume was required to give the same buzz. Gordon knew that he would have to work at his new routine, but did not appreciate how hard it would be.
Gordon gets up at 6.00am to get through a case of Beck’s Blue before breakfast and then has half a dozen Sainsbury’s LA Czech Style Pilsners with his cornflakes. Throughout the morning Gordon rehydrates with a case of Bitburger Drive to ward off the DTs.
“My lunchtime pint in the Rose and Crown has now become a bit of a chore. The Council have even put an aluminium recycling bin outside the pub so that they can cope with the volume of empty Kaliber cans. The evenings are no better and I am eating curry each night just so that I can have a dozen Cobra 0%”
It’s not just the volume that is causing Gordon problems. Even though each pint has just half the calories of an alcohol fuelled version, that still equals a whopping 5,000 calories a day meaning about 150,000 calories have been consumed in January. Gordon is now three and a half stone heavier than when he started.
“I am now on a February detox” says Gordon. “The landlord of my local is helping by soaking beer mats in the slop tray and I am sellotaping them to my arm. This stops the cravings, but my wife is getting through a packet of Vanish a week to get rid of the stains”.
Marston’s share price is now recovering and Pedigree is returning to full production. Asked if the Brewery were making contingency plans should the same thing happen next year, the Company said they were considering producing a low alcohol ‘Puppygree’ – like Pedigree but with no need for a hair of the dog the day after.