The Labour leader has long fought off accusations that his nerdish appearance would hinder his chances of winning the next election. Mr. Miliband often argued with his advisers that voters cared about issues and not the attractiveness of the candidates.
This is not the first time an aspiring Prime Minister has used surgery to improve his chances. After watching Tim Burton's Batman, and seeing the ease in which Jack Nicholson'S Joker was able to trick people in to believing he was trust worthy Tony Blair had the width of his smile increased by 300%. The current Prime Minister David Cameron considered the option but instead opted to study body language at the famous Heads Forward Academy in Amsterdam. The institution is run by Dr. Bull Van Citt, “Our purpose is to help men avoid unnecessary and often dangerous surgery. Lets be blunt, voters hate fatties, people hate fatties and fatties hate fatties. The suit hides the gut, the face can be forgiven but the question is, what do we do about the chins?
If you look at facebook profiles of fatties they are always weirdly posed, they are hiding the chins but doing it in an obvious, clumsily way. We aim to make this natural. We have an intensive six month programme that teach fatties which way to lean their heads and position their bodies so that the chin is so well hidden it as if it was never there.” Following his key note speech at the parties national conference, however, Mr. Miliband was said to be distraught that his speech of “We sucked last year but this year we’re totally wicked yeah,” did not go down well with the electorate and his polices of saying stuff that sound good but probably won’t happen was said to be a failure. Sources close to the opposition leader say he was “inconsolable,” and that there is nothing sadder than, “geek tears.”
Neither of these examples, nor the removal of Gordon Brown’s, “Fuck the Ingerlish,” tattoo are as servere as Milibands purposed surgery. In fact, this is said to be the most indepth Prime Ministerial surgery since a young Margret Thatcher had her testicles implanted. The surgery is said to target Milibands chin, nose and eyes. They are also planning to fix that voice thing he has. We have manged to secure a photograph of what the ideal outcome of the procedure will look like.