Ed Miliband this morning took a bashing from government and news officials, as his main swipe at David Cameron was solely that he hadn’t confronted the sales of cut-price Terry’s Chocolate Oranges like he’d promised. Back in 2006 Cameron promised to address the issues of obesity caused by WH Smith’s sales of Chocolate Oranges for £1, instead of selling real oranges however he has yet to do so.
Miliband’s attack on the unaddressed policy included the quote, “If he can't sort out the chocolate orange, he's not going to sort out the train companies, the energy companies, the banks, is he?" – a statement laughed off for clearly being aimed at the readers of the Daily Mail.
“There’s a global recession going on, yet he wants to wail on about 6 year old sweet issues,” noted a Conservative back-bencher, “It’s like he’s realised he’s run out of things to say and just fancies a crowd pleaser”.
In an interview outside the Houses of Parliament, anti-capitalist protestor Kelly Taylor noted that she’d “prefer that Cameron’s time was being targeted at sorting out the country’s financial problems than dicking around with how much a snack costs”. Taylor added that she had been unemployed since 2008, and discount Chocolate Oranges had been her staple diet.
However, extremist preacher Abu Hamza was supportive of Miliband’s attack on the PM’s unfulfilled promise. “Have you any idea how hard it is to open a Chocolate Orange with a hook for a hand?! Give me a cheap real orange to slice any day.”