Ruthless plans by an in-coming Conservative government that will see our senior citizens institutionalized and confined to the scrap heap at the first sign of doddery behaviour, have been leaked in the run-up to the election.
The memo, penned by a senior Tory, seeks to bring in tough new post-election laws that will see confined to care homes, "pepole who go upstairs only to realise they can't remember why" "people who block the aisles in supermarkets talking about Bert's operation" and perhaps most signcantly "people who say I'm seventy two and I still got all me own teeth"
Pressure groups for the elderly are said to be "livid" at the news, and veteran broadcaster, Sir Terry Wogan, is planning to mobilise his TOGs in an organised protest rally in Trafalgar Square next Saturday, just so long as he doesn't forget about it.