Figures released today in Ventnor show that spoon-related crime is soaring in comparison to knife-related crime on Britain’s favourite holiday island. While relatively few are convicted of carrying a knife on the island, spoon crime of all kinds is growing. “To many, the causal theft of custard, ice cream or soup from an adjacent diner in a public place may seem trivial, ” said Detective Constable Smith of the Cowes Cutlery Unit. “Nevertheless it is a crime, and one that has been reported three times in Shanklin alone in the past year.” In another case, a man was assaulted with a serving spoon in an All You Can Eat buffet restaurant in Bembridge. And teaspoon theft is on the increase across the island. Meanwhile the number of knife crimes reported has dropped in the past year.
“We can’t afford to ignore the figures,” said a Hampshire and Isle of Wight spokesperson. “Using a spoon for crime doesn’t make you a big man, there is no excuse for carrying a spoon, and we will use every means in our power to stamp it out.”